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-   -   What happened to all the nice guys? (http://forums.streetfighteronline.com/showthread.php?t=18096)

TheDocJayC 01-11-2008 12:38 AM

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were fliping treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've fliped yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullpoop and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't fliping want you, now.

Sincerely,

A Recovering Nice Guy




Cassidy 01-11-2008 12:47 AM

O.o?? Wow..

TheDocJayC 01-11-2008 12:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by [b
Quote[/b] (Cassidy @ Jan. 11 2008,00:47)]O.o?? Wow..

thoughtful responses please.
no jackass spamn kthx

_-_Diablo_-_ 01-11-2008 04:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by [b
Quote[/b] (TheDocJayC @ Jan. 11 2008,06:38)]A Recovering Nice Guy

Interresting Story to say the least http://bbs.projectx.cyberfuturism.co...cons/smile.gif

But 2bh women(/girls) need some1 who is Interresting, Entertaining(a talent/ ability which most "Nice guys" dont have) Caring and Smart.
If you are a "Nice Guy" u gotta spark the girls interrest and keep her entertaind during your 1st encounter and stop acting needy cause theres enough "fish" in the sea so if 1 gets away or get stolen from u all u gotta do is get new bait and start over.
And who knows u might end up catching a better one then u already had.

So imo this story meant to atk women = complete bullcrap since humans as a species evolve and therefore women (and their needs) do so aswel and as a Nice guy, Prettyboy or watever the hell else u should to.

"What happened to all the nice guys? "
Some evolved and Some went Xtinct... i myslef evolved and you ?? http://bbs.projectx.cyberfuturism.co...cons/smile.gif

(hope this response was thoughtful enough *http://bbs.projectx.cyberfuturism.co...cons/smile.gif )

Sincerely,

-Diablo-

PS: Forgive my Spelling im not American nor English http://bbs.projectx.cyberfuturism.co...s/confused.gif

KingofCrap 01-11-2008 09:59 AM

I'm really sure how to respond to this.

Have you written that post - addressed to this third party that you are speaking to - in a kind of therapeutic relief?

I would just say that nice guys still abound, but with them wising up to reality, they just won't wear their hearts out on their sleevs anymore.

asshole 01-11-2008 02:38 PM

Whatever happened to "I only think for myself?" "Only I can judge myself" and other quotes like that that I cannot think of right now.

See, to me.. people will ALWAYS look for someone else to blame. No one wants to admit that they're the cowards who let people change them, not even me. So what I say is.. just accept it.. whatever it is you do, or let others do to you. That is the only way you can move on from situations like these (girls, bad managers.. etc).

I really want to write more, but I have 6 mins to get ready for work and hit the road. (I have always hated that metaphor "hit the road".. sounds so stupid, and yet I say it. ;].)

TheDocJayC 01-11-2008 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by [b
Quote[/b] (asshole @ Jan. 11 2008,14:38)]Whatever happened to "I only think for myself?" "Only I can judge myself" and other quotes like that that I cannot think of right now.

See, to me.. people will ALWAYS look for someone else to blame. No one wants to admit that they're the cowards who let people change them, not even me. So what I say is.. just accept it.. whatever it is you do, or let others do to you. That is the only way you can move on from situations like these (girls, bad managers.. etc).

I really want to write more, but I have 6 mins to get ready for work and hit the road. (I have always hated that metaphor "hit the road".. sounds so stupid, and yet I say it. ;].)

I'm not blaming anyone.
just one of my friends just asked that really retarded question.

Iplay2win 01-11-2008 10:11 PM

if your friend asked you this, then why are you posting this here

you should tell her this then maybe she'll open her eyes and notice you http://bbs.projectx.cyberfuturism.co...icons/wink.gif

TheDocJayC 01-11-2008 10:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by [b
Quote[/b] (Iplay2win @ Jan. 11 2008,22:11)]if your friend asked you this, then why are you posting this here

you should tell her this then maybe she'll open her eyes and notice you http://bbs.projectx.cyberfuturism.co...icons/wink.gif

i told her.
im just doing this, need opinions

daddypete 01-11-2008 10:26 PM

yea that is true though

Elena 01-11-2008 10:39 PM

Aww, I feel you man.

It's sad that a lot of females are like that...keep in mind I said A LOT not every one, but a lot of guys are users too. Heh, jump-offs.

But I will tell you one thing, I think it's easier to be a girl than a dude...to an extent. I mean I'd get hit on looking like poop, but Steve will get talked about if he's some bang up shoes on and probably laughed about in his face. I unno. I kinda blame society.

I'm so tempted to just post it on facebook or start up MySpace and send it to some ppls...

TheDocJayC 01-11-2008 11:06 PM

haha, it's on my blog on myspace.
what's your myspace elena?

Jakelynch 01-12-2008 05:00 PM

*Saved.

:3

I like this. And I'll read all of it in a sec. I just skimmed through it, so if I start to sound stupid or miss a point, that's either because I missed something, or I really am stupid. <3

I'm a nice guy. I'm the shoulder to sob on, the best friend, the person you tried dating and didn't really see anything in. The one you tell all your problems to, and the one that's smart to help you.

We're the people who get the short end of the stick. We get led on so much. We meet a nice girl, get to know her, get attracted to her. Is she attracted to us? Most likely not. If she was, will the relationship work? No it won't. She just uses us to get by with other people, and when we leave, she doesn't have anyone else to use, and things go bad for her.

We're also very dangerous. :3 We're influenced the most too. We don't stay nice guys forever. Some of us dumb down, and some of us get agressive. Rarely, does any nice guy STAY a nice guy. That also tampers with relationships. She wanted the person who helped her, not the scaredy cat, or the agressive one. If you use your niceness for intimacy, it'll hardly ever work. http://bbs.projectx.cyberfuturism.co...ticons/wow.gif

Okay, I'm just rambling on. XD Time to be serious. I thought I was being biased, since it happened to me, but since it seems to happen to most of the nice guys, I'm glad I'm not alone in saying this. Girls like nice guys. Girls don't fall in love with them.

That explains the "emotional baggage" you get when she's dating other people. They treat her wrong, they're not what she's looking for, and she goes to you first, telling you all of this, because you understand. You're the nice guy, after all. Eventually, she realizes you're the thing she's been looking for all this time, because nothing else works.

A few months/years later, you seperate. Why? She never loved you in the first place. She only loved the idea of you. The perfect problem solver. The person who understood her. But that's not what a relationship is about. While it has some factors of a relationship, nice guys don't have the edge, or severe passion a girl/woman needs.

And if you do have that passion, you're missing something else. While we're ideal, we aren't fit for a relationship. The assholes who abuse the girls are. Why? [Lol, I don't know this. Someone else answer that. XD] Maybe it's because they're stronger than us. Girls long for protection, if not physically, then emotionally. They need someone strong to stand by them, thick and through. If you're not dedicated to her, and afraid to fight for her, like most nice guys are afraid of doing, then it's not going to work.

Everyone likes the nice guys as friends too. They're almost literally perfect. They're there for you, they'll never tell your personal secrets. You can tell them anything, and they can tell you anything. Girls think there can be more than this, since she can rely on them for anything and everything. We help her with her emotional problems, and we make her feel happy. We make her happy. But it's only a matter of time she gets bored with us, and doesn't attempt to fix the relationship, because she could be having the time of her life, instead of having people who are there for her.

That's how the lot of us get treated. I've never seen a nice person who has been with a person, and kept them. There's always some kind of flaw with us that never let's us keep the girl, and when we decide to pack it up and leave, she realizes how much she needs us in the first place. But it's too late. She got bored with us, or got tired of us someway or another, and moved on.

But I being fifteen, am probably missing a lot of points here. So someone else fill in. Do it. xD

/End Two Cents.

TheDocJayC 01-12-2008 05:41 PM

they realize soon anyway, if they don't it's their fault.
they fall for a guy who's probaly gonna end of cheating on her and end up with a divorce.
I mean, i've had my fair share of girlfriends,
i just hate it when these girls say that there are no nice guys.

asshole 01-12-2008 08:12 PM

Okay. Now I have more time for this.


Ok, I've already mentioned how much I hate when people blame others. SO, what happened to all the "nice guys"? You did. No, not the girl. YOU, yourself. It's always easy to blame someone else.
But let's jump off the topic for a second.

WHAT IS A NICE GUY?
Is a nice guy the one that's good to girls, and wants nothing more to make them happy??
Yeah.. that's a part of that being "nice".. but, is he really THAT "NICE" if he does it all, and then gets mad about it later on? Don't you think that's him being a LIAR in the first place?

Now off to another subject: I hate how society bases every (or most) situations on their relationship ship life (girls/boys/he-man/she-man, etc).. as if that's all that life is.
What about all the people who are out their donating their life away in AmeriCore to help others?
What about all the proud blood donaters who don't get ANYthing back, but for some GOOD ASS CRACKERS and pineapple juice, just to help out a life or two?
Why aren't there any stories ever out there about THEM?

So, before we all go into this "my life is a mess" """STORIES""", let's think about how life is really like.
(That was all directed to the girl who asked that question, to the person who put so much thought into it, and me a few years back. But then again, I've been there and I know how bad it emotionally hurts for a while.. so I'm a definite Hypocrite! Because, there are always two sides to the story, and I'm always the one that defends when my friends say "Man, F*** that ni**a, he's always crying about some girl sh*t", and then I come out and say "Oh so you're saying he's not allowed to have feelings?" Yeah, I know.. totally contradicting what I'm saying right now.. but it gets better..)

Well anyway, back to this story we have.
WHAT ABOUT ALL THE NICE GIRLS?
You'd be a fool to think that I've never seen a total sweetheart girl get taken advantage of.
They aren't the ones that deserve that, they aren't the ones that were "bad at first, but now coo and just looking for love. (I'm talking about your "nice guy theory" in the girls shoes.)" They're just all looking for love, in all the wrong places. Just like the boys. Like you. Like me.


So, honestly, and god to damn TRULY!! the only thing I can say about this whole thing and life in general is: BE YOURSELF!

Don't be that guy who's a puppy dog to that one special girl, for the sake that she'll think back one day, and get pissed when it doesn't happen. You're fake! Don't be that sadistic little girl who's putting out just to get a taste of the high-life, and then get pissed when is doesn't happen one day. You're fake!

Why not just live the "good guy" life?.. help a sista out when she needs it.. but also know what's best for you? Because that first paragraph you wrote, JohnnyBlaze, was all about how this guy's doing everything FOR her. Nor for himself.
Na mean?

See, I don't mean to show off in ANYWAY at all, but I'm also a "recovering guy" because I've been hurt before, but how come I don't manage to hurt girls? Well, it's maybe because I THINK. I know from right and wrong. I'm not going to let some girl with mixed emotions ruin my life, just for me to ruin other lives. See, around here, between all(or most) of my friends, they know that I'm a "GOOD" guy. They know I help out. I have a very pretty girlfriend and I love life.
And, best of all, I'm being myself.


There.. I hope I managed to make sense and stay on this one subject. I think a lot faster than I can type, but I forget what I'm thinking even faster. ;]

TheDocJayC 01-12-2008 08:18 PM

that's just me.
i am nice, i do get girls, i just don't like the fact some of them say there are no nice guys...





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